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Housekeeping! You want me fluff your pillow?

Finally, I am street legal! I was driving on expired plates for a few weeks, and for the past few months I've been getting raped on monthly parking in my building.

When I was in Muncie this past weekend, I went to the BMV and requested a new copy of the title to my truck, which I had lost. Wednesday I received that in my mailbox here, and Thursday morning I drove out to an Illinois Driver Services Facility. I got my title transferred to Illinois, got it registered, and had to pay an extra $25 since pickup trucks aren't allowed to park on the street with standard plates. I then had to buy a Chicago sticker for living in Chicago, and a zone sticker for parking on the streets in my neighborhood. Lastly, I bought 30 guest passes for $6 total. Each guest pass will allow any car to park in my neighborhood for 24 hours. Hear that folks?! You may now visit me, and park near my place, without paying for parking. I'm pretty close to downtown, at the intersection of Banks and Lake Shore Drive. Just let me know you're coming by and you can grab a guest pass to stick in your windshield.

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p.s. I love Cathy Grill!

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Innocence leads to broken jaw

This is a story from my friend K. If you know who I'm talking about, please don't use his name in the comments or I'll have to delete them. If you'd like to know who it is, feel free to email me and ask.

Major facts are just wrong:

Both men eventually pulled into the Speedway gas station at Edison and South Bend Avenue, police said, and about 30 seconds later a third vehicle, a black Dodge, pulled in as well, blocking the victim from leaving.

Intending to apologize, the victim exited his vehicle, police said. He was met by the driver of the SUV, who punched him several times in the mouth, knocking him unconscious.

I had my seatbelt on the whole time, and I wasn't punched by the SUV driver. I was sucker punched by his buddy from the second car while I was paying attention to the driver of the suv who was walking around yelling.

This all happened in the early hours of Sunday morning. Th…